When Divorce Works!

As you might imagine by the title I am divorced. I’ve been divorced from my ex-husband for three years now and during the marriage I raised 4 step kids. I am so glad I had the opportunity to be a mom as I have no kids of my own. I will tell you that the first 2 to 3 months of my divorce or horrible. I sat and cried for three weeks on and off, looked for place to live he couldn’t find one. It was like someone had died, but won’t really died was a marriage.

keep in mind I am writing this article 3 years after we’ve been divorced. My ex-husband and I talk on the phone pretty much each night before bed. Occasionally we get together for a soda or a meal. We have too much in common to throw away what can be a solid friendship. it was a struggle to get to the strong friendship because we both kept thinking the other person wanted a relationship and that’s the only way we hit functioned in the past.

There is an attraction between us but not enough to be back together. What I am more thankful for is a friendship that we have. It’s kind of like we gained and lost so many things, including a house fire the total the house and it couldn’t be rebuilt to give up on the friendship.

So sometimes and in time divorce works. It is not how I would’ve wished to have things but I will settle for this now because I can’t have the marriage. I am thankful for what I do have.

Best wishes on your marriage or divorce.

Kris Vaas

Adopted At 9 days Old

I was adopted from Hillcrest in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, at the age of 9 days old. At that time Hillcrest had an orphanage where I was placed. Adoption was closed so I was not able to find out any of my information about where I came from unless I go through a court process to possibly find my biological parents. I do know I am English, I am blonde hair with light skin. I was adopted from Cedar Rapids and my parents were 37 years old and 43 years old. I never went back to find my biological parents as I mentioned to my mother one day finding out my medical history and she reacted extremely offended as though I had hurt her by saying it. So, I made a deal with myself that I would not find my biological parents until both of my parents who raised me we’re gone. They are both gone and I have yet to start the process.

Of course, I wondered where I came from and who my real parents were and I was asked that quite a bit as a child. People are amazed that I don’t want to jump up and draw up documents to find my biological parents. Over time, sure, I wondered where they were and I just decided that I was raised by my parents. “People always asked me if I knew my “real parents.” After several years, I would turn and look at them and answer the question, “my real parents are the ones who raised me they are at home.”

At the age of 43, I no longer have a desire to go and find my “real parents”. I am content with my life as it is I had the pleasure of raising 4 step kids. Thank you for reading.

Kris Vass

Dear Grandpa-A Letter That’s Long Overdue

Dear Grandpa,

it’s been several years that you’ve been gone now. This letter is well overdue. I miss you grandpa. I miss being your girl. I held her hand while you sat in your recliner and didn’t feel well. No one else did but me. Looking back I cannot even begin to explain to you how much this meant to me and how much it touched my heart.

we both came from families that were strict and didn’t show emotions. We didn’t tell each other that we loved one another. So, this act of affection or compassion of holding your hand while you took a nap or didn’t feel well was extremely special to me. You always called me your girl, even though I have an older sister too. I miss how you would pay attention to me and ask me how I was and how we will play cards together and eat apple pie. The special moments are priceless now and I have you to remember grandpa. You always worked and never complain no matter how hard the work wise. Did you know I go on to have a father like that with the same qualities? Grant but you had the pleasure of knowing my father but little did you know that he would is still the same qualities in me that you did I of a strong worth it work ethic, respect for others compassion for those who are less fortunate and a genuine love for life. People made your world go-round and they make my world go round. You would think I was like my grandfather, wouldn’t you?

Grandpa, I miss you and all the fun times we had. I miss you when we have rough times, we never discussed them but I find strength in the silence we shared that allowed me to go onto the next day and put what happened on a shelf and not remove it till later on. Grandpa some people see me as conservative and I am to an extent but I am also friendly like you always were.

thank you grandpa for excepting me when I was in trouble. All you ever said was, are you in the hoosegow again? I would nod yes. You never said another word. Then grandma appeared and asked if I wanted a piece of apple pie and a Coca-Cola which game the original little bottles. Of course my answer was yes. While my you were strict just like my parents and lived next-door to my parents, they seem to understand that when I was in trouble I needed someone to be there. I think you could see that I was down and needed some cheering up. Thank you grandma and grandpa for all you gave me in my lifetime. I am glad you are in heaven together, probably talking up a storm, maybe even dancing a dance. I am sending a smile along with a hug and much love to you dear grandpa and grandma.ove always,

Kris

Financial Stress: Don’t Let It Get You Down

Financial stress is very common if you are faced with job loss or because of a divorce or death in the family or, if you are just plain “over your head in debt.” Rest assured you are not the only one dealing with financial stress…there is probably someone in your life whom you know quite well who is also dealing with financial stress. Financial stress can lead to feelings of worry, stress, insecurity fear and depression. A great idea when you are financially stressed is to talk to someone you can trust. If this is not an option, sit down with a piece of paper and write down your financial stresses. At a later time, go back to that list and try to be objective…locating what bill needs to paid now and what can wait until a late time to be paid. One method is to pay a small amount on as many bills as you can, across the board. If this seems too overwhelming, simply pay an amount on a couple of the bills “to chuck away at them.” Be sure to take a break from trying to find out what you can pay as you may only add stress to what you are dealing with and not want to deal with it at all. Take your time………you’ll get there! Kris Vaas

St. Patrick’s Day–March 17th

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia…..comes information about St. Patrick’s Day.Saint Patrick’s Day, or the Feast of Saint Patrick (Irish: Lá Fhéile Pádraig, “the Day of the Festival of Patrick”), is a cultural and religious celebration held on 17 March, the traditional death date of Saint Patrick (c. AD 385–461), the foremost patron saint of Ireland.

Saint Patrick’s Day was made an official Christian feast day in the early 17th century and is observed by the Catholic Church, the Anglican Communion (especially the Church of Ireland),[4] the Eastern Orthodox Church, and Lutheran Church. The day commemorates Saint Patrick and the arrival of Christianity in Ireland,[3] as well as celebrating the heritage and culture of the Irish in general.[5] Celebrations generally involve public parades and festivals, céilithe, and the wearing of green attire or shamrocks.[6] Christians also attend church services[5][7] and the Lenten restrictions on eating and drinking alcohol are lifted for the day, which has encouraged and propagated the holiday’s tradition of alcohol consumption.[5][6][8][9]

Saint Patrick’s Day is a public holiday around the world.

Happy Early St. Patrick’s Day!

Kris Vaas

Saint Patrick’s Day is a public holiday around the world.Kilbennan St. Benin's Church Window St. Patrick Detail 2010 09 16.jpg

Hundreds expected at funeral for unarmed 19-year-old fatally shot by Wisconsin officer—Too Close To Home

Killings by Police Madison-1.jpg

Too close to home. Another teenager was shot by an officer, this time, it was in Madison, Wisconsin. This is approximately an hour from where I live.

Where does it end? The shooting of officers, of teens……armed or unarmed, it never seems to stop. Each shooting causes protests, whether peaceful or violent and unrest within the city.

In this case, the teen was unarmed and there was a burglar alarm that was the main concern–the one that started the confrontation. It was later found, that the burglar alarm was a false one.

The shooting, however, was not a false one, it was very real and very permanent. A life was lost, once again, in a shooting. How will we stop this violence? When will peace prevail?

A few thoughts……..

Kris Vaas

Workplace Bullying Part 3-Are You Being Bullied Or Is It Normal?

Those of us who were raised with a very strong work ethic tend to work no matter what work we are given or how tough it is. I know from my experience that I thought at my last job if I was given items to do and couldn’t accomplish sound I didn’t feel strong enough or topping up for the job or like I was doing my best. I strive for perfection that’s what was expected of me as a child and so it was very easy for me to fit into your place that expected more of you for less pay, and bullied you when you didn’t have everything perfect. As a result of our strong work ethic we strive to be perfect and when we’re not perfect we get called into the office. Is this workplace bullying or is it just normal?

If you’re like me you feel that things are normal in a workplace should be that way. You’re there to work and earn money and you should do whatever you’re told to do and get it done timely manner. I balanced the benefit I had of working with the elderly and their companionship with the stressors of the job and now I realize that’s how I avoided do you need viewing things is being bullied.

One day I came home and looked up workplace bullying on the Internet. I didn’t realize there was such a thing. I thought maybe I just didn’t have what was needed to do the job in me. Workplace bullying in fact is a problem in the US where bosses take their power to an extreme and employees start to feel like they’re not worth anything, but that the works needs to be COMPLETED BETTER or more thorough. In my experience the sleeves and employee not wanting to come to work the next day because I don’t feel like they are worth adding anything to the company.if you feel anything like this, please look up workplace bullying on the Internet to find some answers as to how to handle your situation. The articles I found helped me get through 2 to 4 months of work and save my job for a year. I’ve been lucky enough to find another job in the vicinity I live in I live in a rural area so that’s not real likely all the time anyway if you feel you’re being bullied please look up being bullied and at least find some solace there that you are not alone.

Have a great day!

A Void In My Heart Forever

I need you here, I need you now. Where are you? You are my protection from the world outside my life. How could you leave me? Your affection and love is missed dearly. You left an emptiness in my heart when you left. There is no explanation how or why. I just know that you are no longer here and that leaves a void FOREVER within me.

image

Still Falling For You, A Poem of Love

If I walk away

Maybe you won’t see my tears.

If I walk away

Maybe you won’t sense my fear.

I’m walking away

Surefooted, certain not to let you see me

STUMBLE.

Yes, it was you I was looking at,

That’s why I almost fell….

like I did before….

worried about you and what you are doing,

where you are going,

loving you unconditionally……….

I hope you didn’t see me…

really I wasn’t falling….

just stumbling over the love

I feel for you.

It has become bigger than life itself.

Spring~A Time To Let Go? A Time To Start Anew? (A Time To Pass Away and Start Anew?)

TulipsThis past week has been a challenging one for me. Three people whom I have known quite well have passed away within the last 7 days. It is beginning to look like Spring here in Wisconsin and is 53 degrees today.

First of all, I want to say that I am not one who believes in superstitions or chance happenings. I believe everything has its time or season and that everything happens for a reason, because of God!~

Is Spring a time for those who are ailing to “let go?” It’s a time for brighter weather and the snow begins to melt. Is there a symbolism here? Is Spring a time to begin a new life, a more peaceful one without pain, in Heaven? I don’t know if we will ever know the answer to these.

Francis, passed away on the way to kidney dialysis. Cy is an elderly man I worked with for the last year and he had been failing with cancer for the last 6 months. Jean is a woman who was in the Army Waves (a type of service) and just began to fail within the last couple weeks.

Tomorrow is Francis’ funeral. I have known him for 20 years. It’s like a good friend I haven’t seen in awhile, suddenly gone.

He was a closer friend to me than most of my relation!!! Tomorrow I will celebrate his life. He served in our armed services for many years. May he “let go of earth” and embrace a peaceful life in heaven.” Is Spring time for him to do this?

Time to let go, and begin again,

Kris Vaas